You are not alone

As conductor working on your own, it can get quite lonely. Not because I don't have good friends around, a busy work schedule, a great little family of my own, family on skype- because I do. But it gets lonely sometimes as there is not another conductor close by to discuss what happens during the day or ideas for the future or just share this passion for CE. Really those conversations made me learn and rethink my thoughts. I truly miss them.
Lately it doesn't feel quite as lonely as I am able to discuss things with my participants and parents. But even more excitingly conductors and friends of CE started to talk again. I mean I see it everywhere on blogger, facebook publicly and privately, on conference calls and more. Its not only the select few that have been trying to keep up conversation for a while. There are new names popping up. Its really exciting. And everybody please don't stop. There seemed to be a refreshed wind blowing after the conference. So please keep it up. I know it doesn't only help me it helps us all in CE.

My first CE world congress

Since being a CE student flicking through the abstract books, I was hoping to attend one day a world CE conference.  Last week, seven years after I graduated I was finally able to. As it was practical on my home turf – in Germany- I was ready to sit back, get inspired, learn new things or rediscover the old. The following is my experience of the three days of the congress/conference.

DAY 1

I arrived (how untypical German of me) late.  However, I arrived in time for the last well-wishing speeches and the announcement of the changes at the Peto-Institute.

As so many others I then got hit with the first keynote speeches, it was definitely quite hard to swallow before lunch. I felt that other keynote presentations, which were held later at the conference, would have been more appropriate to start of a CE world congress.

After those, I started to spot some familiar faces and I was starting to get into this whole congress thing. Then lunchtime rolled around and I was rather hungry. After spending three Euros on a small bottle of water I decided to get some supplies from the town of Fuerstenfeldbrueck to survive the rest of the afternoon.

Unfortunately, I did miss a couple of interesting sounding presentations that day, while I tried to figure out to which one of the s-rooms (Seminarraum, Saeulenraum, Stadtsaal – really could noone come up with better names???) I had to go to. Then later in one of the s-rooms I finally attended my favorite presentation of that day. It was so full of passion and educated enthusiasm for CE. It made me instantly relax, appreciate being there and relate to what I do. Thanks Itzel Bazua. Spending some time with colleagues and friends I haven’t seen in long time or meeting people I only know from email or phone made the day feel very worth while but unfortunately too short. I couldn’t stay for the meet and greet, as I had to get back to my baby.

DAY 2

This day was starting off a bit better, as I saw some of my friends straight away. The presentations seemed to be getting better and apparently I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. The German lady sitting next to me uttered after a sigh of relieve: “Jawohl, es geht doch”. She took the words right out of my mouth.

I felt like I was finally learning something. It was great. What surprised me was that when I congratulated one of the conductors on her presentation, she said she was worried about it as it wasn’t very scientific but merely her experience.  I thought that was kind of worrisome, considering that the CE profession is foremost a profession, that shines through its practice and its pedagogy, and I am sorry to say, not through its scientific proof or research. But I didn’t question it and forgot about this for a little while. Just being swept away by the busy-ness of the congress. The rest of the day and presentations were really great and I enjoyed being there thoroughly. At lunch we even took some time to take a look at the impressive church that was in the heart of the old monastery where the congress took place.

During a couple of the presentation I only once or twice raised my eyebrows, as the presenters would talk about how this or that was with the principles of CE in mind. I wondered if all of us in the room had a universal understanding of those principles. If we all shared the same and if we all could name those when asked? I worked for so long by myself that this was thoroughly possible. That I just didn’t get the memo. But again those critical thoughts were rather rare and I kept forgetting about it. Well until Andrew Suttons presentation. He kind of rattled us all up from our congress fairy tale slumber. Reminding us that they a whole bunch of controversies in CE that have not been publicly discussed and especially not at this congress.

Andrew’s presentation did what I assume the purpose was. It was to make us think and to make us question. I left soon after this and spent the train ride back to Munich re-thinking my questions that came up at the conference. The one no one talks about and the burning question to why. I understand that some of this “elephants in the room” are a very sensitive subject for some. I understand a lot of work has been put into negotiating some off those elephants and stuff them into boxes that aren’t adequate for there size.  Some have been discussed to death with no major results. And not all need to be taken out and talked about again. But in saying nothing (at least to a wider audience), we are saying we are agreeing. But do we know what we are agreeing with? It’s a catch 22, if we don’t ask, we won’t find out. I think its been rather sad the lack of discussion of any kind. I think a prime example was at the end of one of the presentation when one conductor got up and asked quite critical questions (I applaud to that). She expressed her concerns based on her experience (I personally would have liked to hear more) but then in the same breath she said that this presentation didn’t belong into a CE world congress. Well, if it didn’t, where did it belong? How would have the rest of us known there might be bigger problems? Either way, that’s when I started to type some notes into my phone for my first blog back, to stop the silence.

DAY 3

I felt pretty confident that I figured out the way to the congress by then. But no such luck. What we didn’t know that there was major construction going on at the main line of the public transport system. We weren’t the only ones confused as everyone around us was too. Thanks to the announcements and general knowledge of the German way of thinking, I figured it out. We had to change trains one more time then before. At that train station my partner pointed out two people with yellow bags (the ones we got at the conference), who looked utterly confused. He suggested I help. So I turned around and was promptly approached by them for help. They turned out to be the students from NICE, (Susie blogged about). We had a nice chat on the last train ride to the conference. I promised to be there for the presentation they were to give later that day.

Because of this we were later arriving to the conference and I missed the first presentation I was really looking forward to hear by Ralph Strzalkowski. I was just in time to see him leave the room and hear Melanie Browns voice from inside. I am very grateful I didn’t miss her presentation. I have to say I missed hearing her talk. Her presentations or lectures I attended as a student at NICE, made you think (as many other lecturers did). You can say she is very conductive in her speeches. She leads you along a certain topic, gives suggestions without giving the answers, but encourages you to keep searching. I left that presentation with renewed sense of purpose and confidence in my chosen profession.

Rony Schneiders presentation took a new spin how hope not only needs to be in the participants and caregivers consciousness but also in the staff ones in order to provide it. Very interesting.

Afterwards I gave my partner a break from taking care of the baby and took her to the coffee break and poster presentations. The baby was very well behaved and time flew by while I was chatting with a lot of interesting people.

 I managed to go to three presentations by three former and current NICE students. We used to get told as students (I think by Andrew Sutton), that the reason we had to give so many presentations was to be able when we graduate as conductors to communicate what we were doing. Listening to the presentations made me realized it worked and proud to be part of the different generations of NICE students. They did all an amazing job.

The congress then ended on a bitter-sweat note for me. Not only because it was time to say goodbye again and I only managed to do that to a handful of people. But also because the last presentations I attended, made me rather angry. I tried to figure out why those made me angry and still trying. Maybe I went in with too high expectations as two very respected conductors gave them, maybe I was upset by the little content in those presentations and what representation they gave of the profession of conductors. But who knows, it might have been just another case of language barrier.

Unfortunately, I had to miss the closing ceremony as it was running late and my little family was running out of patients waiting for me.

Nevertheless, my ‘Fazit’ (conclusion) is that it was a conference well worth going to, with its ups and downs. You could feel that a lot of work was put into setting up this congress and into its presentations, but I was surprised that it didn’t have the ueber-organized touch, we Germans are known for.

Finding my own balance

Tempus fugit. This year it seemed to be running especially fast. It feels like it was yesterday that I was counting the first weeks of my pregnancy and now I already have a 4  1/2 month old baby. A little human that above all I love and who loves me back unconditionally. She makes me more aware of each moment and with whom I celebrate firsts on a daily basis. Believe me she has made me more aware of human development and learning, and the preciousness of life then any book or lecture ever could. 

I worked as conductor till the day I gave birth. In fact I had to cancel classes because I was in labor.

I resumed work with my clients fairly quick and returned to run summer camps 2 month later. Additional I have been active with ACENA, where I am serving as a board member since last year.  To say the least I have been busy. 

I was lucky to be attending my first world congress of Conductive Education (more to my experience there hopefully later in a different blog). I considered myself lucky, as it was in my native country Germany and I was able to combine business with pleasure. I  introduced my baby to her grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles. I was also lucky as my partner was able to visit a different part of Germany. 

Not before long my “luck” was leaving me exhausted and my partner not as happy as I hoped he would be.

The title of conference was “rhythm and balance”. I think those days at the conference made me more aware of my struggle with balancing different areas of my life then I have been able to admit to myself before. I was trying, as so many parents do on a regular basis, to have it all. To see all my family and friends, while taking care of my baby, going to the conference and make sure my partner was having a good time too. It was only working to a certain extend.

One presenter at the conference was talking about how parents nowadays have changed and that part of this has to do with the wealth of information that is available through the Internet. This sounded so familiar to me, that it made me realize I am one of those parents now, part of this generation of parents. I, too, spent quite some time on the net, trying to find information that ultimately will help me to take better care of my baby. What I have learned so far is that with all the information that is out there, I pick and chose what I do, depending if it fits with my own believes, is doable with the time I have and is relevant to my family situation. Right there is a lesson learned for me delivering CE and the application of it at home. But really, what I learned for myself during the conference is that I think I feel quite familiar with my new role and that I will spend less time searching. Making use of what I know now and start more acting on it.

So part of this new acting is to try writing things down on this blog. With a bit of luck it will start to be part of my new balance.  But who knows. Being back for a week now things are still pretty crazy and I am still searching for this perfect balance.

Momma said...

I was talking to my mom the other day. As always, she helped me to understand something: something about CE, something about the learning process being a parent of a child with Cerebral Palsy, and something about perspective change.

My baby brother turned 18 a few weeks ago. He is an adult now by German law. I’ve know him all his life. I met him on his first day of his life, when he was battling hard to hang on there. He was so tiny and there were a lot of glass windows between us watching him, loving him. Now he is tall and lanky like my other brothers. He outgrew my mom over a year ago, who now wears high heels to support him during walking. Now, there is an ocean and nearly a whole continent between us; but I am still watching him, still loving him.

My mom has been learning how to conductively bring up my brother for over 16 years now. They live around 400k away from the German CE centre my brother has attended since he was 5 years old. He usually goes there for intensive blocks, but in between blocks it can be up to 6 months that he doesn’t get to see a conductor. However, his conductive learning never stopped: as he is encouraged to work on those skills at home.

When we talked I brought up how she mentioned before that the changes she saw in my brother from CE camps weren’t really physical changes, but more cognitive. She replied that this is true, but that she can now see how CE made a difference physically over the years. The week before she went to an orthopedic doctor because my brother complained over occasional back pain. He assured her that his spine was in great condition and that he could tell she has been working hard with him.  He also said he sees young, adults, with similar severity of CP, whose bodies are so contracted that, even with help, they have difficulties using their bodies purposefully and without pain.  Those are the times my mom gets reminded how CE has helped her to learn to not only support my brother to improve but also maintain the skills he has gained over the years at home. When he was younger it was solely about improving his skills and getting better at things. But growth, and hormonal changes really make it important to work hard mainly to maintain those. Yes, where there is CE, there is (or should be) always learning and improving, but that sometimes loses its importance when it comes to growing teenagers.

My mom talks about that conductor a lot who told her nearly ten years ago, that it is important to stick with the hard work they put in; especially when he becomes a teenager. As this is the time most families give up. It is that time that priorities change mainly because their children’s body change into an adult body, but also because the focus is more on academic achievements and what to do once they are out of school. The daily fight with different authorities and professionals simply becomes too much to handle and gets understandably avoided.   And of course other teenage troubles like hating your parents, dating, being self-conscious etc can make life even more challenging.

But it’s that time where the physical upkeep wins importance as it sets the tune for adulthood. You lose your range of movement and ability to control your limbs sufficiently when you are a teenager; it becomes a even harder battle to fight when you are an adult.

Those teenagers need activity not because they have CP but because they are human. The ”use it or loose it” rule of thumb for physical activity applies as much to them as to the rest of the teenage/young adult/human population. Exercise is supposed to be part of a healthy life-style. But what happens in reality that at this time physical activity slows way down because they become harder to handle. However, my mom also insists that she used to have more back pain when my brother was little because of the awkward bending over. Because they learned together how to support his movements, it has become easier – in a way they grew together.

They’ve had sixteen years of conductively growing together. And I think they are happily looking back on how much they learned and are happy to be able to keep going with this.

I am still watching and also learning from them.

LIFE FORCE

Just now I read a new blog entry by Susie on her blog “Conductor”, which reminded of the blog that’s been in writing in my head for a couple of weeks. http://www.susie-mallett.org/2012/04/joy-in-natural-world.html (Thanks, Susie:-))

Before I really get going, I would like to apologize in advanced about bringing more and more yoga into my blog writing. My partner and me are a bit over 2 weeks away from starting the first part of our yoga teacher training. We had to do some reading to prepare us for the tasks at hand. Naturally, it’s been part of our conversations lately and part of where my mind nowadays takes me. CE has for years been a steady occupier of my mind, which means the produce of my thinking has become quite interesting. BTW once I am done preparing for yoga, the books Peto wrote in German are next. I am curious to see, if I can find any overlap (the more I read the yoga books, the more I suspect to find that overlap).

During the last couple of weekends I have challenged myself physically more extreme then I have before. I run a ten kilometer run and hiked up and down a mountain for 12k (which took us 5h!!). I am not just telling you that to show off (and yes, a bit of ego is always in it as I am very proud of what I have done) but also to highlight the light-bulb moments that came with it. I pushed myself hard and I suspected I would spend the rest of the day resting on the couch or napping. But no, quite contrary, both those days I ended up cleaning everything on my list (my usual Sundays chores), going for more walks and more. Yes, I felt the physical tiredness of pushing myself but I also felt the mental power I gained through it. I suddenly had more energy then before and happy to be tired but still enjoying life.

I think, I gained what the yogis call “Prana”, which means in rough translation “life-force”. The yogis believe that some things steal our life-force and some give it to us. Yoga itself is considered to give us life-force, exercise is, spending happy moments doing whatever we like to do. In general, it doesn’t have to do with things that cost us energy like moving and exercising but more what brings us joy; It’s quite a bit of bliss those moments when you are exhausted e.g. playing a 24h Volleyball tournament or whatever you fancy and feeling every muscle in your body, but when you are glad you did it and be proud of your achievements.

I have seen that little twinkle of refreshed life, flashing up in my client’s eyes – and I think that’s the moment I enjoy most as a conductor. Yes, it could have been just a booth of endorphins but I choose to think there is more. There is perspective for the future and there is appreciation for the now. Without trying to sound all mushy but there is some sort of peace.

One of my biggest pet-peeve with people working/caring for children with disabilities (usually the non-verbal once) is the overused phrase: "He/she is just tired". And yes, sometimes that’s what they are and yes sometimes medication does not help, but I dare to say that quite often they are just bored. Something that would steal anyone’s “life-force” and maybe it is a reminder for us to work a bit harder on avoiding that and strengthen the things that bring life-force activity, sense of achievement, sharing enjoyment and feel connected with friends and family, feeling good about oneself and lots more. Interesting how much it sounds like CE or the things I think about planning a session.

I always remember a mother complaining to me how more alive their son was, when he got home after a six hour intensive session. That he would move around more trying to do stuff (yes, quite often it was “naughty stuff” but quite often that’s not a bad thing either).  I remember that I didn’t quite know what to say, as I was mentally and physical exhausted of trying to keep that child active throughout whole day and didn’t understand why he wasn’t feeling like I was. My instincts told me that this kind of non-tiredness is not a bad thing. And now I know that this is stuff that's most important. 

Developing as conductor means to be able to express ones ideas, thoughts and explain reasons, even instincts, better. I’m getting there slowly and I am pretty sure that I would have something important to say to this mom and expanding my teaching on a greater level.

About inspiring and being inspired

This was the second year in a row that I went to Easter Camp for stroke survivors in beautiful Squamish, BC. Last year, I was captured the friendly and vibrating atmosphere, the amazing people and conversations. This year it wasn’t any different.  We were greeted back like old friends and it didn’t feel like a whole year had passed. I remember last year, on my way back home, feeling a bit guilty about having had such a great time (again, this year wasn’t any difference). I felt this guilt as this camp really wasn’t about me. I was just there to volunteer some time, help out with a few things and introduce CE a bit. This was more about the Stroke survivors and their caregivers having a good time. I think they did.

http://turtletalk.ca/

Being inspired

This camp gave me plenty of opportunities to catch up with campers from last year and get to know new people and their unique stories. It gave me the chance to see how people have improved over the year and get to know a bit why. It also gave the chance to listen to what most people’s hopes for recovery were. I think the general consensus was that they are open for anything that might help them to make their lives easier or regain some function.

Other professionals also volunteered their time and it was great to observe them and listen to what they have to they about stroke and recovery. I think there were two major presenters I found very inspiring for different reasons.  Working independently gives me little opportunity for professional development; so I cherish every opportunity to be in the learner’s seat.

I enjoyed observing about Steady Feet, a program aiming to prevent falling, which is recognized and funded by the Ministry. For me, it was interesting to see how to approach it from a solely exercise view. The exercises she did and why she did them made sense. And I think most people enjoyed them, which I think is the most important part. It made me also appreciate the differences and why CE is more than an exercise program.

I enjoyed the talk of Dr. Yao about brain plasticity and rehabilitation options in a Question- and- Answer style. The content itself was not new to me, except how acute care for Stroke works in BC. I have heard a few things from my client, but Dr. Yao gave a wider overview. In all honesty, it was rather shocking.

I liked the way she explained everything, took her time to answer questions and had a genuine interest in what becomes of stroke survivors once they left the acute rehabilitation program.

The inspiring part of the talks and demonstrations for me was that CE is actually situated in the Zeitgeist of current neuro-rehabilitation understanding more than people might think. Our unique training and understanding does let us go the extra mile and address psycho-social concepts like motivation, cognition, attention, emotion etc. that become vital for further learning and rehabilitation. Plus, the awareness of those skills lets us adapt our teaching to teach the HOW more than the WHAT to do.

Being inspiring.

I also was scheduled to give a presentation on CE. I have had for a while now an outline on what I like people to know about CE. It’s usually pretty general and I like to put in different examples to give it some life. However, observing the other presentations; I told one of the organizers that I would teach standing up from a chair differently to people who had Strokes due to various reasons. She made me show her and then told everyone to attend my session to learn a different way. She called it a teaser to my presentation. And what a teaser it was, I had twice the people attending this time

So, after doing a general introduction about CE, I invited everyone who was interested to join me in learning to stand up (with my support if needed). I am usually really nervous about giving presentations; but once I started to teach standing up, I was on a roll. I was doing what I do best. I explained why we do things and some of the fundamental thinking about it. I kept emphasizing the teaching part and that the teaching depends on the individual learners and their current abilities. I showed examples of how we break down getting off the floor (very popular topic in that particular group). It was not the usual presentation I give, more a workshop; but people enjoyed it a lot and I had a lot of positive response to it. Being more at ease doing my thing, it sparked a bit of a “conductive glow.” With one or another that I said, I began to see that certain sparkle in their eyes- the one of hope.

However, I am very grateful that I had someone give me the right nudge in this direction and I am sure, I will use this in further upcoming presentations.

This was a great weekend. And I am looking forward to next year.

Smells like CE spirit

 

I do love when I come across articles that spell out what I was thinking for a long time and have either never seen it in written words or in written words outside some Hari books.

So one of this documents crept up on me this morning on my facebook news feed.

Self-esteem breeds Self-Determination?

Guide towards problem-solving?

Giving meaningful choices?

Create opportunities for communication?

Balance between protective and risk-taking?

High expectation?

Motivation?

Safe opportunities to practice?

Learning skills not linear?

Development of self-help and independent living skill?

Understand students starting point?

Activities in communities?

Genuine involvement with peers?

Support? Encouragement?

This all sounds so familiar. Not sure when I seen those words the last time all in one Reminds me of a project my conductor friend and me once worked on. Time to take it back up, I think.

Notes:

Relish for more then just Hotdogs:

www.nichcy.org/wp-content/uploads/docs/ta4.pdf

Here are the scripts for the audiotape (only scanned through it).

http://nichcy.org/publications/st3script

The first session

Today, I started off working with a new client. I meet her for an initial consultation over a month ago. I was excited and a bit nervous. However, I do love this time. This is where the conductive magic starts, if I do my job right. The first session usually gives me a clue how long and what it will take to gain the trust of my client and their family. It’s the start of building a relationship.

This young child is not what you would call a ‘typical’ CE child. I mean she doesn’t have the diagnosis of CP. She has a genetic defect, which not only affects her body tone (hypotonic), but also her bone structure, vision and hearing. So, I was a bit careful before meeting her and I remember warning her mother that I might have nothing or not much new to offer. We agreed to meet anyway and I am very glad we did.

This little girl just loves songs and thinks I am hilarious. Needless to say, it’s pretty easy to motivate her. So, that checked off we are working on her trusting me. She has a quite painful knee and is scared bending it. She can do it when she is playing and no one else is around. This tells me that she knows her limits and that she had bad experience with other people trying to help her. I made sure I didn’t push her and mainly verbally encouraged her to crouch down, earning her trust. It seemed work out and she tried.

I asked her to follow my movements and follow simple instructions. Her mother tried to show her hand over hand. I told her to hold of a tiny bit and see if she would attempt to follow them without hand over hand (I looked as she tried to figure out what I wanted from her) and after a little while she did quite well. I could see her mom being quite excited in the background. After the session I asked if she (the mom) had any questions. She said no and that it was pretty clear, what I wanted. She said that I worked with her daughter a lot on the next level. She feels that the therapist that knew her daughter for a while kept having those kind of expectations and that she now has to reset hers to higher ones, too.

This is not the first time I heard this. And please don’t get me wrong, I do not post this to clap myself on the shoulder (although feedback like this feels damn good). Or to cause further stress to the relationship conductors have with other professionals. It’s more to say that firstly we conductors do have something to offer to our clients and families even if it’s only to show them to step up their expectations. As well as see it as a warning to us/me to not get sucked into the current level of development, therefore always look for the next step of development (yes, in case you wonder it’s Vykotskii).

Anyway, it looks like we had a great start to do some conductive magic with this family.

Time, balance and living

This week I read my friend’s blog about Facebook and communication. He came to the conclusion that it actually makes us passive and will close his account soon

That made me think: could I? and more importantly, did I want to?

Apart from being an addict, I enjoy Facebook. I enjoy not always having to be active to know what happens in the lives of people I know and love. For me, it’s a time factor.

Having lived in a few countries, I’ve had to leave behind considerate amount of people I truly love. I have to say I am still glad that I have some contact with a lot of them, and I know that when it’s time to meet up I can just click on their Facebook and make arrangements. That is what happened when I went to Germany about a month ago. With some I have regular message exchange, and sometimes I am lucky to catch them online at the same time and have a chat.

I used to have pen pals when I was younger. After a while the contact would become less frequent and mostly die. But then once in a while it would start up again, and I was glad that the contact wasn’t lost forever. My friend from Grade 1 with whom I still have contact with is used to not hearing from me for a while, sometimes even years. But the strength of friendship is such that you can pick it back up again; even without being in touch for a while.

I also enjoy clicking on links to blogs and articles mostly of a professional kind. It’s quick and easy to access, so another plus point for saving time.

I have thought about time quite a lot lately. When we went to Germany, we had little time to see and spent time with my family and friends. We had hardly time to sleep and I ended up with some killer migraines, which left me with even less quality time for catching up with everybody.

It seems like time comes with a balance. If you start neglecting one area of yourself, another area will start to crumble too. The fight to find and maintain this balance seems to be the most important struggle in life. You have balance when you have time for the things you like (i.e. hobbies) and the things that are necessary but not always fun (i.e. cleaning). Of course, sometimes those areas can overlap.

However, my grade-one friend in Germany, told me that she has hired a cleaning lady. No, this friend is not made of money. She is a bio-chemistry grad student and a mom of a two-year-old. She decided that she wants to spend the limited time she has doing things she likes (i.e. spending it with her daughter) instead of cleaning. And she is very happy with her choice of maintaining balance.

When I first arrived in BC, I spent a lot of time building up my business by actively making contacts, reading articles of various topics and regularly writing on my blog. Fortunately I had some time for my passion (yoga), too. At the time my partner was still living in Winnipeg and I lived at a friend’s place, which meant I had to spend very little time maintaining our place. When my partner moved to BC, I lost some of the time I used to have to build up my business; but after a few weeks, we found a good balance.

About nine months ago we adopted a puppy and there was even less time for building up a business or even for my hobbies. Right now, I haven’t got my balance back; but I am working on it. And I feel I am seeing the silver lining on this one. My point is that our priority change with the different things life throws at you. It takes a while to find that balance again.

How does that relate to CE you might wonder? I think it does in two very different ways.

Firstly, during our training we were pushed quite hard to keep up to a certain time frame and got in trouble more than once (or maybe that was just me?) for not sticking to it or even sometimes sticking too much to it. We had to learn that pushing the tasks through is one thing, but teaching new skills was another. There were a lot of conductors who thought that quality (the teaching part) was more important then the quantity (the sole task series). At the same time, I think, if we wouldn’t have been pushed to keep to the time line and task series we wouldn’t have learned how to cram so many teaching opportunities in every minute of our session. In my professional career so far, I have been fighting with that balance. I am still fighting with it; as every member of the group(i.e. parent/spouse, participant, assistant, other conductor or professionals) will upset this balance, and it takes a while to find it again. The good news is that once you find it, you know how to more easily recreate it.

Secondly, it’s the participant and their families who most often have problems finding balance between creating learning opportunity and time to just live for all members of the family. They are inundated exercises, equipment to use during the day, therapy or sessions and doctors appointments and more. Time becomes very precious and the days are too short to do everything. To make it all worse, different professional will recommend different things. No surprise that families feel often overwhelmed.

http://benandhenrysmom.blogspot.com/2011_11_01_archive.html

I am afraid we conductors, especially in the beginning, sometimes, add to this. We recommend different uses of furniture or what to practice (which mostly looks like exercises). I am try to emphasize that most things should be practiced as part of a routine. For example when standing up from a chair, to make sure, to put weight on both legs. When playing with their children they should play with purpose, e.g. the child has to work on standing: play in a standing position. This way it comes part of what any person at that age would do anyway. And in a way it crams learning opportunities in every minute of everyday life, what has come to be known as “conductive living.”

However, some people are just looking for concrete stuff, like doing certain stretches or exercises and that’s fine. They might come around to conductive living eventually; but then again they might not. In the end, it might not be what they needed to maintain the balance of their own lives and families.

Still, in my opinion, teaching a family with a child or adult with a disability how to achieve this balance (while not killing themselves) is actually the most valuable tool we can teach.

Notes:

http://benandhenrysmom.blogspot.com/2011_11_01_archive.html

http://thegeekconductor.com/mauritius/?m=20111227

Group. Dynamic. Motivation.

This year I run my first summer camp in BC. Two weeks with three kids and I loved every single bit of it. And so did the kids. I see two out of them individually once every week. Working with them individually or in a group is completely different. Why?? Well that’s different from kid to kid.

V- the only boy in the group is way more easy going then at home. At home we work a lot on strategies for his mom to deal with his behavior issues. There, I have seen him working on his best and on his worst. I have been shown the door by him a few times ( sometimes I barely stepped through it). In the end I have left every time on my own terms with him finishing what I have asked him to do. Sometimes that meant we could play, dance around lava, trick a shark and sometimes that meant to calm down and sit till we are in the right state of mind.

His mom was having a hard time with conflicting advice. When what to do, was and is her biggest struggle. And it is hard. Upbringing is about balance. Balance between rules and having a good time. As an up-bringer you work on this balance every day. Sometimes you get it right and sometimes you don’t.

But we are working in looking for his motivations behind his actions. He sometimes shouts, throws shoes and tries to grab you as he having a tantrum and tries to catch your attention. Then don’t give to him. In group he learned this way fairly quickly to calm himself down and joined back in the group activity.

He sometimes shouts and tries to grab someone because he wants to help or he overexcited. Then it’s important to pay him attention and praise him for trying to help or recognize he is happy but he should sit back regardless. To judge the situation it takes knowledge of the kid and his emotions. But you have to be careful to not make excuses for your kid. If it’s having a tantrum let it have it and then talk to it.

He made some important improvements during the camp and the consistency dealing with him while still having expectations on him, made him feel at ease. The experience of the camp will help me to teach mom better as she knew it worked. And sometimes that’s just what it takes to bring changes in the family by showing changes with their kid is possible and attainable.

Mo. Well, Mo. She is superstar. I have not seen her for about half a year. I usually do not see her individually. To be honest I don’t think I could bring a lot of change at home as her parents are very good in following through with what has been done and adjusting it conductively to their way of living. But since I have seen her last and now, she seems to be a different child. She remembered the group from March camp and straight away lit up. She loves working in this group. A child who hardly shows any emotions, giggles and laughs at the right places. She really feeds of the clapping and cheering of the whole group. It was really easy to teach her knew skills because we would cheer like crazy when she got it right. She would love that so much that she would seize to repeat it. Again and again and again. Her verbalizing was just amazing. She not only makes noises now to get something (which in itself is a miracle) but she will also try to form the correct sounds with her lips. She would try to get your attention when she wanted something and boy, when she wanted something she would try anything to get it.

One of the huge developments of the camp was, that she started to take her assistant to the bathroom when she needed to go. This has been huge for her and her family as she so far been only trip trained with intermediate success. We additionally have been working on using picture exchange to express that she needs the bathroom and this also seemed to be going pretty well.

Last but not least Ma. I see her on a weekly basis. I have seen her mother interact with her and seen that she is very conductive in her upbringing anyway but just needs some ideas and tricks to work on certain skills. I usually work with her by myself and share with her mom afterwards what we have been working on. She has shown steadily progress with her skills. At home she tends to loose her concentration and motivation quite quickly, not so much during the group program. In fact, it was great to observe how she applied spontaneously skills we have been working on during the last couple of month. We managed to even push a bit further with our work. Considering she had little control or awareness of her right foot half a year ago, she now can walk with her toes up. Amazing. The group is doing her so good. Her mother run a daycare during the summer. Ma spent the day with the little kids and it was to observe that her level of maturity shrank to the level of the little guys group. It was very hard to get her to focus or do anything those weeks. However, in the CE group, she was very keen to lead by example and did fantastic.

This shows how important the right group is and how to use the group dynamic to bring out the best part of each individuals personality. In the place I worked before, we had the luxury of a lot of different groups and could place the participant where we thought they could grow most. One of the client I ever turned down without trying them out in a group, I knew would not work in the group the parents wanted (which was the summer program). Yes, I think that CE could have made a different but not in the available group and with not my at that point, abilities to keep a group together. Even the kids in this groups were all very different with very different diagnosis and abilities, I knew those will make an awesome working group. I am very glad my conductor instincts proved me right.

I think, I would not necessary made the same decision coming straight out of University. The reason I knew it would work is because I have seen a group with a similar variety work before. Who knows, in a couple of years I might not turn down a kid working in a similar group, like I did back then.

Private.

I have mentioned before that working with the individuals at home shows parts of a family dynamic you usually do not see. Some positive ones, some not so positive ones
.

I have learned and still learning where the boundaries are for me being able to do a different and where I am not the right professional or person. Personally, this always has been hard as I like helping people. My very grounded partner keeps reminding me you cannot fix everybody. In my conductor head I always want to disagree. Why not, there must be a way. My consistently changing understanding of life and living keeps telling me maybe there isn't one, not at the moment at least. Sometimes, all we can do is offering what we can and if its not wanted or needed at that time, we shouldn't take it personally.

My friend who recently graduated from med school and worked with Families with different backgrounds told me what she been taught: Never give advise as the families know best what is good for them. Listen and guide them, they will find their own answer that works best for their own situation.

I have been thinking about that for a while and always amazed how truly conductive this thinking is. As a fix-a-holic I know that this is a lesson i still have to learn.

Today, i was in this situation. I tried to offer my help by listening but one party of the family did not want to talk about it. My gut straight away made me aware of the different emotions involved. And I this was nothing I could help resolve. In fact I felt my whole presence made it worse.

I know my client has really enjoyed our sessions and the gain of it you could see in his movements and eyes. But right now, it seems better that the issues need to be resolved by the family first- without me. My client, who has severe aphasia tried to communicate that to me. I respect that. I know or I hope they will get in touch when they feel they are ready again on their own terms and own time.

I always been aware that there are something in the family dynamic that causes some sorts of distress but they didn't want to tell and I had no right to dig. I was not there for that.

Lisa in her blog talked about suitability for CE and I think those situation is quite fitting. Right now, its not what they need. Maybe sometime in the future, however long that might be away.

Notes:

http://thephysedstudio.blogspot.com/2011/07/unsweetable.html

The ones we met, the ones we lost.

Since I have graduated about 5 years ago I have met a whole lot of amazing people. Unfortunately, I have also mourned the loss of a few of those people, too. Now, a few weeks ago, I had news that one of my former clients has passed away.

The last time I saw her, she was in good spirits, she was ready to improve herself step by step and don’t let the MS get in the way of her living life. Moreover, she wished me good luck starting up new in BC and was also emphasizing how much she would miss me and she rather not see me go. We also decided that day that we have indeed over the years we known and worked with each other, have become friends.

I remember telling her how much I was looking forward to see all those improvements when I return. Both of us were in good spirits about the future. A few weeks later I heard she had a Stroke. Then I heard she has been hospitalized and that’s the last news I had.

When I met her first she was not even sure she had MS. She had some symptoms but she said she wasn’t sure. In the beginning we had no other people to work with. So she had a lot of individual attention. We worked through a lot of frustration and other emotional baggage and of course achieved a lot of success moving forward. I was able to earn her trust and she would always ask my advice on anything that involved her rehabilitation. She introduced me a lot of different things and gave me her first hand experience, which I have treasured and passed on when I felt it would be helpful.

She had a pretty hard year with lots of attacks and has been hospitalized a couple of times. But as mentioned she was back on the horse and ready to tackle whatever mountain would come up next. Her spirit was sooo alive and in my head she still is. She told me she is done with all the naj-sayers and appreciated my positive attitude towards living and learning.

Over the years she learned to control her inner Hertense (that’s what she called herself, when she forgot to breath and believe. And when the frustration got the best of her.). We used to laugh about that name a lot even though it was a very touchy subject but we just shared that knowledge it was ok. We also knew that with discovering Hertense, she actually has learned to be a master at self-awareness and self-control. I was happy to know that I had contributed to that self-recovery.

Last week I used her example of the discovery of her Hertense with one of my other client (with slightly watery eyes- but I don’t think my clients noticed because I smiled it away) to teach about self-awareness and control. The story was very much appreciated and I think brought across my point. I quietly send appreciation to her and what she has taught me.

Her death, made me think of my other clients I have lost and who wont be easily forgotten at least not by me.

The girl who had a lot of medical problems and most people involved in her live had little expectation. Her mother was always so appreciative of us trying things and she appreciated it too with a huge smile.

The little boy who died of a rare illness that was completely unrelated to his Cerebral Palsy. It broke my heart watching and sensing his parents pain when they buried him. Nevertheless, they only had kind words for us at the funeral even though they were in so much pain. They are truly the most giving and kind people I know. The summer before he attended our summer camp. He made us cry with laughter as well as pulling out our hair out at his stubbornness and determination for the wrong things. We pushed him hard that summer and he made tremendous improvements. The boy who used to use his walker only as monkey bars with little weight on his feet learned to take independent steps with his canes. When we heard the sad news, one of my assistance said that he nearly wishes he wouldn’t have pushed him that hard. I had to think about it for a bit but came to the conclusion, that we did the right things. He and his family gained so much hope and momentum that summer, which they proudly showed off in their community. It brought them a lot of happiness and that’s just priceless; also it left me with no regrets as it showed me the part we can play in peoples life.

Hope, is also what we gave another elderly gentleman who battled a quite devasting progressive neurological condition for 11 years. We started to work on things that were doomed impossible and he kept moving forward not as expected backwards for the 2 or so years, we knew him. Despite his frozen facial expression you could always see his joy, happiness, hope and appreciation in his blue eyes. His wife told us how much meeting us changed him and brought him to a better place in himself. But I think we really gained from his presence and his inability to give up.

This was something my training didn't prepare me for - and no there is no blame that it didn't, just an observation- but that has touched my professional career again and again. I personally have little experience with death and nowadays it mostly happens far away from me, that it makes it unreal. As a non-religious person its hard to give comfort as I feel wrong to say: its okay he is in heaven now.

Nevertheless, as most things you figure it out. And you have to, when you share those experience with other children or adults who were part of that particular group. Most of the times, it feels as the professional you have to be the rock and be strong for everyone else. And sometimes acting comes with the job.

I am far away from being an expert in it and truly hope I never become one in that.

Strange, how sad times make you think about the happy times, and happy times about the sad ones. But I guess you cannot have one without the other or would be able to appreciate it the same way.

The "bloody furniture"*

Nothing better then having a long weekend to finish some projects. I have been working on one piece of CE furniture for some time and really happy that it’s nearly finished. In the process, I had a quick learning curve about sanding the chair, prime it and even paint a quite cute picture - despite my lacking drawing talent. I found that particular chair in the basement of my boyfriends grandma and she was so kind to give it to me. She was really happy that it will have some good use as it otherwise would have landed in the trash.

My partner also build me an adjustable floor ladder, which I have used with some of my clients and which has contributed to their learning process.

I would like to stress here, that in order to live a conductive lifestyle you do NOT need the CE furniture and I have made so far do with little of it. But in some instances it can serve as a great learning tool during the conductive program, to teach certain skills or break-downs off, I chose not to completely go without. On the other hand I do sometimes purposefully spend time with the client, thinking or assisting the thought process of what to use, in order to learn, apply or practice a certain skill. But as a teacher you some times just need to have your tools handy that you know will work, so you can spend time teaching what you intended.

Making this equipment actually has made me problem-solve and enter unknown territory. I learned overcoming some difficulties along the way, which made the process for me, challenging, at time quite meditative and very conductive.

*that's what Andrew Sutton used to call it. Not sure where to find the original quote.
PS. hope i can upload the pictures soon.

Learning the art of the CE

Before I start, let me assure you writing this blog wasn’t an easy task. I must have re-writing and corrected it a dozen times and, as I always, I recognize that I do not hold the ultimate truth to everything and especially to everything that involves CE. But this is my story to how I got to my understanding and how I have communicated it in the past.

Back at University in the UK during our second year, we were asked to prepare a 20 min presentation about what CE is. We were supposed to explain it to our fellow students and teachers CE as they never heard about it. Sounds easy??? Surely, by the second year we should know what the heck we were studying?? Well, looking back it was one of the toughest tasks we had to master and I still draw from what I learned on my way to give this presentation.

By the way, we had to give quite a few presentations as our tutors and creator of this course thought we should be able to talk publicly about CE – annoying at the time, but I am now quite thankful for it. My presentation skills have improved a lot: Some of you will be pleased to know that I stopped rocking forward and back, hardly use my notes and even try to make eye contact. But mostly that depends on the audience and yes I am still learning.

Anyway, to prepare for the presentation I read through most of the published books about CE in English and German. Especially in German I read quite frequently about the principles of Conductive Education, which referred to:

• the conductor,
• the task series,
• rhythmical intention,
• the program(also daily routine),
• the group

and sometimes even the furniture.

According to Sutton the concept of CE principles orientated in Ester Cottons book (Funny, that I know exactly what book he is talking about but unfortunately its not in my small CE home library).

Even though we had all access to Cotton's CE principles, as far as I remember no one of us used it to describe it. I guess, it is because we didn't get CE taught in a black in white perspective; and because we wanted to look like we knew what we are talking about in front of our classmates and tutors. However, every now and then (actually more frequently lately) those principles pop back up to describe CE. In my eyes, the principles of CE according to Cotton are failing to describe the pure essence of CE. Further, the task series, the rhythmical intention, the program (or daily routine) are merrily facilitation tools available to teach certain skills. The description of the conductor read to me always like a job description – a very ambitious one for that matter. It always encouraged me to try to be a bit harder and be a bit better.

The question comes up and has come up in the past: if you do not have all of those teaching tools, resources and techniques available – even through they are pretty powerful- would you still do CE? I would like to argue that yes you do. We know that you do not necessary need a conductor to teach a conductive lifestyle, the parents with the right guidance can take over this role for their own child. If we as conductors did not believe this, why would we have parents and child groups and seek constant conversation with the parents and caregivers? Breaking down skills to make them learnable is a handy skill to have and give opportunities to practice those during the day is also important. But one can do that during their daily routine without actually following a task series or a program. At the end of the day that’s why we as conductors use task series during our program to encourage the use and application of different skills during the individuals daily life. I do not think that giving parents task series to practice with their kid is a way to encourage a conductive lifestyle. It actually estranges the individual and their family from living. To encourage the kid to hold on when riding their bike and swinging on a swing, keep their sitting balance when going sledging, moving their legs when playing soccer with their siblings and much more is living- that is conductive living. What we can do, is to show them how to break down certain skills or during which situations they can be practiced. By the way, I know when a family lives a conductive lifestyle, when they come back to me and found different way to apply those skills.

As my teacher from University used to say we do not want our clients to go through live counting. What we want them to take away is the things rhythmical intention (RI) teaches the way to organize our thoughts through speech, to slow our movement down or speed them up accordingly, to plan ahead, to learn how to use our breath effectively to move and much, much more. RI is a powerful and complex tool and helps to teach a lot of skills, but during my individual session I find myself using it less and as always only for certain purposes.

Coming back to the presentation I had to do for school. What did I do? How did I describe CE. To be honest looking back it was rather a process then a solid idea, that with the more I read and understood, changed the shape of project- quite literally. I am a quite visual person so I wanted to present CE in a kind of diagram, simple and clear. So I kept researching for the essence of CE. I read your typical CE books, at what we been taught in practice and what was taught to use during our conductive pedagogy lectures. In books I found Hari talking about techniques that unfold linear, longitudinal, spiral we used to teach. I guess that means techniques we use all the time like our observation skills; techniques that slowly increase determined of the circumstances, like techniques that build up on each other or slowly become less in use, like the use of manual, verbal and psychological facilitation. Looking at our practice I learned a lot of differentiation to suit each individual as well as the group needs, which we learn to use according to our observation skills. In our pedagogy lectures we learned the concept of how and when to use different techniques, being aware of different challenges and mostly encouraged to “think outside the box”.

First, I wanted to use my brothers magnets and sticks to build something, but due to shipping problems that idea failed. I tried to draw something but unfortunately I am not the artist of the family. So, my friend and me looked for something with linear, longitudinal, spiral structure on “google” and we came across the structure of an DNA. So that’s what I ended up using as my diagram to present CE. And it worked quite well to bring across my point, how each thing we do interlinks with another and depends on the individual we work with. Sometimes what we choose to do looks a little a bit different as the facilitation techniques vary in order to serve the individual as well as the group better or sometimes- as we do not live in perfect world - adapt to the resources we have available.

So what did I really learn about CE? That CE is complicated and simplifying it mostly denies its complexity. CE’s essence is its pedagogy– the way and the art of how we teach.

When I introduce CE to new crowds nowadays I start by explaining that it is foremost an educational approach focusing on teaching children and adults with movement disorders, skills that are relevant in each individuals life. That it looks at all aspects of the individual personality. That it recognizes that some skills like confidence, motivation and attention have to be addresses first in order to teach new physical skills. I talk about CE fundamentals, which consist in my eyes of the conviction in life-long learning and that with each new skill acquired new potential to learning is born. That in that quest of learning the dynamic of the relationship between the teacher and the learner is important, which builds up on trust that needs to be continuously nurtured. That we realize, that the role of the teacher and learner needs to be flexible. The reason for choosing what we teach, how to teach it and when, depends on techniques we learned during our training as well as our past experience, interests and additional training and how we have seen it work, or not work, to teach certain skills. As Susie Mallett in one of her latest blog said, there is no cook book for our work. Which allows us to try and be flexible in our teaching and change with our clients, but it is that fact that makes describing CE sometimes quite challenging.

The best way to make people understand what we do is choosing examples of our practice that might be relevant to their own learning and that very much depends on the crowd or person I talk to. Strangely or maybe not, that is exactly what we learned during our training to be able to give specific example to show what CE can do and has done in the past. And luckily that makes blogging about our practice even more important.

Notes:

http://www.susie-mallett.org/2011/04/let-us-be-careful-about-aphorisms.html

http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1540593482

The girl with the soft voice

Today, after my second stroke group session, the group coordinator and me had a little talk. We were both excited what we just witnessed. One of the ladies recently attending the stroke support group and my stroke trial just had a major break-through. She was able to move her arm for the first time by herself since she had the stroke but more importantly was the confidence she gained from it. She was literally glowing at the end of the session, enjoying the praise and attention that 60 minutes earlier would have made her blush and run out of the room.

She wasn’t the only one who gained from this session. A lot of people attended and gained from it in different ways. I don’t think it’s your typical CE session. For most attendees there has been no initial consultation, even though some of the basic forms have been filled out. If I could describe it, its like a drop-in CE session like the yoga/pottery/wood-work classes in the other rooms of community centre. Yes, its not ideal but when the stroke group coordinator and me first got together, we wanted to make it accessible for everyone in the group. We had a group that met every week to socialize, exercise, play cognitive games, switch information and learn from each other. Not unlike any other conductive group. So to utilize this in way to make it a conductive group, was the challenge we set ourselves. I put together a program that differentiates a lot to be useful as an introductory course for all levels and abilities and I think everyone took away at least one new thing from the session. This was the second week of our eight-week trial and so far so good.

I don’t think it will stay as useful for all over a long term, unless we are able to split up in smaller learning groups. But it’s great for an introduction and accessible for people, who otherwise do not attend for various reasons.

Anyhow, in our discussion about the session, the coordinator said she knew from the beginning that this is something great, something big and she is very passionate about it. However-and she told me to not take it the wrong way (oh dear, here it comes) – the members of the group were surprise to hear that the “girl with the soft voice” will be back, to teach the group. Ummphh, “the girl with the soft voice” is definitely not the greatest compliment I ever had. But I understood what she meant, because yes I do have a softer voice and as my boyfriend puts it a slight “British” politeness in my voice that makes it softer. I also know that I am very passive when it comes to sell CE. I do want people to know about it without pressurizing them. I wish sometimes I would be a bit more aggressive in my approach to promote CE and I will try to work on it. I also wish I would be better with words. In my head I thought I actually did quite a good job going out there and talk about CE, but I also know where my talents lie. I convince people by showing them what I do and explaining while doing it. During group sessions I feel at home, in fact quite safe. That’s where my passion and knowledge glows (or at least I hope so).

Funnily, I know a lot of conductor colleagues, who are like me: Shine in their practice and not so much in their public speaking. But I also know, met, read from conductors who are naturals in public speaking and feel at home doing that. I hope that some more of those will step it up and talk/write more about CE. Also, the ones who are less natural at this, try anyway. Isn’t that what we teach our clients- trying is more important then achieving. At the end of day, without me “trying” I would have had the opportunity I had today, to teach some amazing individuals some new skills and help them glow.

Linked-in. Are you??? Should you???

A couple of weeks ago one of my clients suggested to me to join Linked-in. She explained to me that the is a professional network and unlike Facebook connects people professional without viewing pictures of their last camping trip.

I know this is old news to some but I so far I found it most fascinating. Not really for the fact that I made a lot of contacts (which I haven’t) but more for the discussions that are going on. I joined a couple of groups like “Neurorehabilitation” and Cerebral Palsy groups and been getting email updates about different discussions on a daily basis. Something tells me that those are the discussions we (as in the conductive community) should take part in. Getting out there and let everyone know that we have a voice and a view. And we can get out of our professional hiding-place. There is right now a discussion about Neuroplasticity, rehabilitation and Stroke. We should be in there, shouldn’t we?

Funny that those discussion look a lot like some that have been going on in the boundaries of the CE world. But maybe we still have to decide what our view is. A few of us came to the conclusion not too long ago on Andrew Sutton's facebook wall. Is that true? Quite possible, but who know without real widespread discussion.

Through Linked-in I have made a quite interesting acquaintance with a professional working in Toronto. His name is Nathan Gendelman. I commented on one of his blogs and pointed out some similarities in our thinking about learning and functional application of daily life skills. He replied to me (and allowed me kindly to quote him) “The LIFE concept does have certain common points with Peto, but it does have a lot of differences, which does not mean we can work together under one roof. [Literally as conductors do work for his company] I think if we can benefit to kids and adults with disorders - this is the greatest thing we can do. All the rest can and have to be worked out, so there is one path and all in one treatment.” After some negative experience in the past I have made with different professional, I am very excited to come across some who are looking for the exchange of views. I always knew that they are out there (as I met a couple in the past) and lately I am happy to report there have been more positive experience then negative ones. After a couple of email exchanges with Natan Gendelman, I have been asked to write about CE on the enablekids blog. That is the first time I have been asked such a thing and feel quite honored, who wouldn’t? I said I will give it a go and hope I will be able to come up with something useful.

Anyway, I am in the middle of spring camp and therefore pretty busy just being a conductor working with children and their parents - full time. I think it created a lot of learning for all (of course it includes my learning, too) and that right now reserves most of my attention.

I do hope in the future to be more out there. Discussing, writing and learning.

Notes:

http://www.linkedin.com

http://www.facebook.com/#!/permalink.php?story_fbid=152911594770591&id=1540593482

http://www.enabledkids.ca/