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Thursday, July 14, 2011


I have mentioned before that working with the individuals at home shows parts of a family dynamic you usually do not see. Some positive ones, some not so positive ones

I have learned and still learning where the boundaries are for me being able to do a different and where I am not the right professional or person. Personally, this always has been hard as I like helping people. My very grounded partner keeps reminding me you cannot fix everybody. In my conductor head I always want to disagree. Why not, there must be a way. My consistently changing understanding of life and living keeps telling me maybe there isn't one, not at the moment at least. Sometimes, all we can do is offering what we can and if its not wanted or needed at that time, we shouldn't take it personally.

My friend who recently graduated from med school and worked with Families with different backgrounds told me what she been taught: Never give advise as the families know best what is good for them. Listen and guide them, they will find their own answer that works best for their own situation.

I have been thinking about that for a while and always amazed how truly conductive this thinking is. As a fix-a-holic I know that this is a lesson i still have to learn.

Today, i was in this situation. I tried to offer my help by listening but one party of the family did not want to talk about it. My gut straight away made me aware of the different emotions involved. And I this was nothing I could help resolve. In fact I felt my whole presence made it worse.

I know my client has really enjoyed our sessions and the gain of it you could see in his movements and eyes. But right now, it seems better that the issues need to be resolved by the family first- without me. My client, who has severe aphasia tried to communicate that to me. I respect that. I know or I hope they will get in touch when they feel they are ready again on their own terms and own time.

I always been aware that there are something in the family dynamic that causes some sorts of distress but they didn't want to tell and I had no right to dig. I was not there for that.

Lisa in her blog talked about suitability for CE and I think those situation is quite fitting. Right now, its not what they need. Maybe sometime in the future, however long that might be away.


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