Just now I read a new blog entry by Susie on her blog
“Conductor”, which reminded of the blog that’s been in writing in my head for a
couple of weeks. http://www.susie-mallett.org/2012/04/joy-in-natural-world.html
(Thanks, Susie:-))
Before I really get going, I would like to apologize in
advanced about bringing more and more yoga into my blog writing. My partner and
me are a bit over 2 weeks away from starting the first part of our yoga teacher
training. We had to do some reading to prepare us for the tasks at hand.
Naturally, it’s been part of our conversations lately and part of where my mind
nowadays takes me. CE has for years been a steady occupier of my mind, which
means the produce of my thinking has become quite interesting. BTW once I am
done preparing for yoga, the books Peto wrote in German are next. I am curious
to see, if I can find any overlap (the more I read the yoga books, the more I
suspect to find that overlap).
During the last couple of weekends I have challenged myself
physically more extreme then I have before. I run a ten kilometer run and hiked
up and down a mountain for 12k (which took us 5h!!). I am not just telling you
that to show off (and yes, a bit of ego is always in it as I am very proud of
what I have done) but also to highlight the light-bulb moments that came with
it. I pushed myself hard and I suspected I would spend the rest of the day
resting on the couch or napping. But no, quite contrary, both those days I ended
up cleaning everything on my list (my usual Sundays chores), going for more walks and more. Yes, I
felt the physical tiredness of pushing myself but I also felt the mental power
I gained through it. I suddenly had more energy then before and happy to be
tired but still enjoying life.
I think, I gained what the yogis call “Prana”, which means in
rough translation “life-force”. The yogis believe that some things steal our
life-force and some give it to us. Yoga itself is considered to give us life-force,
exercise is, spending happy moments doing whatever we like to do. In general, it
doesn’t have to do with things that cost us energy like moving and exercising
but more what brings us joy; It’s quite a bit of bliss those moments when you
are exhausted e.g. playing a 24h Volleyball tournament or whatever you fancy
and feeling every muscle in your body, but when you are glad you did it and be
proud of your achievements.
I have seen that little twinkle of refreshed life, flashing
up in my client’s eyes – and I think that’s the moment I enjoy most as a
conductor. Yes, it could have been just a booth of endorphins but I choose to
think there is more. There is perspective for the future and there is
appreciation for the now. Without trying to sound all mushy but there is some
sort of peace.
One of my biggest pet-peeve with people working/caring for
children with disabilities (usually the non-verbal once) is the overused
phrase: "He/she is just tired". And yes, sometimes that’s what they are and yes
sometimes medication does not help, but I dare to say that quite often they are
just bored. Something that would steal anyone’s “life-force” and maybe it is a
reminder for us to work a bit harder on avoiding that and strengthen the things
that bring life-force activity, sense of achievement, sharing enjoyment and
feel connected with friends and family, feeling good about oneself and lots
more. Interesting how much it sounds like CE or the things I think about
planning a session.
I always remember a mother complaining to me how more alive
their son was, when he got home after a six hour intensive session. That he
would move around more trying to do stuff (yes, quite often it was “naughty
stuff” but quite often that’s not a bad thing either). I remember that I didn’t
quite know what to say, as I was mentally and physical exhausted of trying to keep that child active
throughout whole day and didn’t understand why he wasn’t feeling like I was. My
instincts told me that this kind of non-tiredness is not a bad thing.
And now I know that this is stuff that's most important.
Developing as conductor means to be able to express ones ideas, thoughts and
explain reasons, even instincts, better. I’m getting there slowly and I am pretty sure that I would have something important to say to this mom and expanding my teaching on a greater level.
Anne,
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this.
These days I tend to describe it just as life; mine, yours or our clients'.
Yes it is hard to hear when a pedagogue, who looks differently at the non-disabled and disabled children in our integrated Kindergarten, say that the first group are having great fun running around playing in the garden and the other group are working so hard - the poor things!
My role there is not to be afraid to say that there are no two groups and describe how all the children are learning through their play in their own ways. Some of the children will be tired at the end of the day others not, from their individual level of activity. Some will sleep and some will carry on being naughty at home, depending on all sorts of factors, just like the differences between you and me. (I certainly would not clean after a 10KM run, perhaps get on my bike as I find that best for my soul!)
Once again thank you for sharing your stories. I look forward very much to sharing even more once you have read the AP books.
Susie